TV vs Bedtime = DVR

A couple of weeks ago, I broke down and bought a DVR. There are too many primetime shows that I'm hooked on and I'm having this problem actually watching TV during the primetime hours due to a certain Miss M throwing nightly protest rallies against the tyranny of bedtime.

Oh, woe is me, if I attempt to put to bed the young mistress of the household if she is not ready. And the getting ready includes (in this order):

1. 1. brushing her teeth
2. 2. taking a bath
3. 3. wanting out of the bath tub to use the potty chair in an obvious attempt to avoid hair-washing
4. 4. dripping water all over the floor and the potty chair, but not really using it
5. 5. complaining when put back in the tub to continue with the shampoo routine
6. 6. pulling the plug and waving bye-bye to the water
7. 7. getting wrapped up in a towel and held up to the bathroom mirror
8. 8. squealing "nekked baby" with glee at her reflection
9. 9. getting a "nice clean diaper" and pajamas on in her bedroom
10. 10. reading five books while sitting in mama's lap in the rocking chair
11. 11. about half-way through book four, repeatedly requesting to go to "mama's bed"
12. 12. when that plea is ignored, switching to "nana's bed"
13. 13. turning the lights out after book five
14. 14. exchanging the following remarks:
• "rocking chair or your bed?" mama asks
• "mama's bed," Miss M suggests
• "rocking chair or your bed?" mama asks
• "nana's bed," Miss M suggests
15. 15. repeating above exchange 5 or 6 or 10 times
16. 16. finally choosing rocking chair
17. 17. 30 second later, start chanting "bed, bed, bed"
18. 18. laying down in her crib and pulling up the covers
19. 19. saying, "mama in rocking chair, pleeeeeease"
20. 20. watching mama rocking for 5-30 minutes while chewing noisily on pacifier, flopping around in the crib like a fish out of water, and otherwise engaging in any activity that will prevent her from actually falling asleep
21. 21. reminding mama to "be right back" if mama leaves before she has fallen asleep
22. 22. mama agreeing to come back and check on her in a little while
23. 23. if it's a good night, actually falling asleep without any further ado
24. 24. if it's every other night, starting to wail for "mama" about 6.2 minutes after being left
25. 25. mama returning to her room and skipping back to step 19 and repeating until we can escape the loop with a step 23 ending

So this is the process that, for the present time, and for the foreseeable future, prevents me from watching live primetime programming. So my DVR with an 80 Gig hard drive is programmed to record the following shows every week:

• Desperate Housewives (ABC)
• Heroes (NBC) *
• Studio 60 (NBC) *
• Jericho (CBS) *
• LOST (ABC)
• Project Runway (Bravo)
• Ugly Betty (ABC) *
• Grey's Anatomy (ABC)
• ER (NBC)

The shows with asterisks are new and may or may not make the cut once my hard drive starts filling up...

"Hello, my name is Tacey, and I'm a TV-aholic."

Pixar poisoning

We've watched Finding Nemo about 27 times in the past 2 weeks. At first it was nice that something was keeping Miss M's attention for more than 18 minutes at a time. But somewhere around viewing number 19 I started experiencing the following symptoms:

• singing "just keep swimming, just keep swimming" at odd moments
• imagining Robert Barone as a puffer fish while watching Everybody Loves Raymond
• humming "somewhere, beyond the sea, somewhere, waiting for me..."
• craving a glimpse of the big blue ocean
• feeling disconcerted when I see Ellen Degeneres and she's not actually bright blue

I think I'll be OK, I've got lots of strength to fight this off. But I think Miss M is starting to experience symptoms as well... last night I heard her chanting, "shark-bait, hoo-hah-hah".