Christening a New Easter Tradition

My daughter had her first Easter this weekend, not that she'll remember much of it as she's only six months old. But I'll never forget it. She was baptized at the Saturday evening Easter Vigil service. While it was a lovely service, it was soooooooo loooooooooooooong. It lasted two hours, twice as long as a normal service! It started at 7:00 pm and lasted until 9:00. My poor little girl normally goes to bed about 8:00, and she didn't take very good naps on Saturday. She was so very tired, but really, she was very well behaved all things considered. She didn't cry when the priest sprinkled her forehead with water and shortly thereafter, she fell asleep in her daddy's arms and slept through the last half hour of the service, including communion and several hymns with organ AND BRASS accompaniment. Even the horns didn't rouse her!

She wore the same Christening gown that I wore when I was baptized 32 years ago; it was the same gown that my younger brother wore, and all my first cousins, when they were baptized. It was purchased for me by my godmother Ida Lee out in San Francisco and sent to us in Kansas City. I was baptized with Holy Water from the River Jordan brought back by my Great-Grandma Ruby who went on a pilgrimage to the Holy Land earlier that same year. I don't remember this, but I've been told the story and I've seen the pictures and clippings from the small town newspaper that published my baptism announcement.

Most of my actual childhood Easter memories involve food: Easter dinner, chocolate bunnies, and jelly beans (is it any wonder I'm overweight?). We did go to church, sometimes with my grandparents. I can remember bits and pieces, some of the joyful Easter hymns. But more detail is etched in my mind about Easter candy. Our family had a revised rendition of the egg hunt, the Easter bunny hid jelly beans all over the house for us to find on Easter morning.

While I still want to carry on the great jelly bean hunt with my children, I also want my daughter to hear the story of her Easter baptism every year. It will make the holiday more special for her, I hope, and remind her that Easter is more about the resurrection, new life, and God's love and less about chocolate bunnies.

Going to Kansas City, Kansas City here I come...

A person's hometown can really shape their personality. As someone who has spent a majority of her life living in Kansas City, I'd like to share some facts about the city I call home.

You know you're from Kansas City when...

...you know that Kansas City is actually two cities in two states, Kansas and Missouri. Therefore, you differentiate the two as KCK and KCMO.

... you are traveling and you tell people you are from Kansas City, even though you don't actually live in Kansas City proper. You live in one of the many suburbs that make up the greater KC metro area.

... if you live on the Kansas side, you think Missouri drivers are pokey and frustrating. If you live on the Missouri side, you think Kansas drivers are crazy and erratic.

... you know just how fierce the KU vs MU rivalry is; and that you'd best pick a side and stay loyal.

... your airport is known as KCI (Kansas City International Airport) yet, the airport code is MCI.

... you tell visitors that your city is the "City of Fountains" and they look at you blankly because no one outside of the city has EVER heard it called that, even though we do have over 200 fountains sprinkled throughout the city.

... you've given the following answers: "Yes, we have tornados." "No, I don't know Dorothy." "No, I've never met the Wizard and I've never been to Oz."

... you Christmas shop at the Plaza and ice skate at Crown Center in the winter.

... you know better than to try and drive through "the triangle" at rush hour.

... you know to get off the interstate if you're headed into downtown and the traffic report says there's an accident at the Benton curve.

... you very rarely actually go downtown, unless you're going to a convention at Bartle Hall, a concert at Kemper, or a play at one of the downtown theatres.

... you've barhopped in Westport.

... you've eaten yummy authentic Mexican food down on Southwest Boulevard.

... you've ridiculed the giant shuttlecock sculptures on the lawn of the Nelson Atkins Museum of Art to your local friends, but defended them to out-of-towners.

... you've driven by President Harry Truman's house in Independence, MO (one of those many KC suburbs).

... you think Johnson County folks are a bit pretentious (even if you are one).

... you've had a Gates BBQ employee shout at you, "May I help you?"

... you've tailgated at a Chiefs football game or seen a baseball game at Kauffman Stadium.

... you only buy Hallmark cards, because you care enough to send the very best - and because Hallmark corporate headquarters is in KC and there's a Hallmark store around every corner!

... you're mad because Nebraska Furniture Mart used to delivery to Kansas City for free, all the way from Omaha, but now that they have a big new NFM store right here in KC, you have to pay for delivery!

... you caught Nascar fever when they built the new racetrack out in KCK.

... you've spent many a day riding rides and eating park food at Worlds of Fun.

... you've watched the American Royal parade and rodeo and sampled BBQ at the annual cookoff.

... you know that KC has a jazz district down at 18th and Vine, but you've never been there.

What kinds of characteristics help define your hometown?

Hair cuts, corn muffins, and tears

It was a busy weekend around our household. On Saturday, I finally got my hair cut (which has been overdue for practically a year...). I like my hairstylist, she always gives me a good cut; but whenever she styles it, she totally flat-irons and sleeks the heck out of my hair and makes it look like a wet seal has been plastered to my head. Sigh. We also went grocery shopping, dropped off dry cleaning, washed the car, and went to church. Later that evening, I made corn muffins for Sunday lunch and cleaned up the kitchen. Whew!

Sunday, our family celebrated my grandma's 88th birthday. We all converged on her house, brought in lunch. I contributed the corn muffins to compliment my mom's chili. Of course, I could have gotten away with not bringing food, so long as I bring the BABY! She's the star of the show any time we have a family get together. Unfortunately, she had a little too much of a good thing this afternoon. Everytime I tried to get her down for her afternoon nap, someone interrupted. I kept moving to empty rooms, but someone would follow me in and either 1. talk loudly 2. turn on the TV or 3. otherwise make extremely loud noises while trying to be quiet. Sigh.

And I, as mama, of course, bore the brunt of the fall out from this lack o' nap since my daughter decided to scream bloody murder the entire drive home. All. Forty. Minutes. For awhile, I cried with her. She doesn't normally cry for so long, but we were the only ones in the car on the highway. I was afraid if I stopped to try and console her, it would only make things worse. So we drove on: speeding, crying, me feeling like my heart had been ripped out of my body and was being drug behind the car. She finally cried herself out and fell asleep less than 3 minutes from the house!

A penny for your thoughts poems

A helping of Haiku, a limerick for spice, and some free verse for dessert.

Persistent and calm,
Rain drumming on the rooftop
Lulls me back to sleep.

Angry daffodils
Forced out of hibernation
By warm spring sunshine.

There once was a baby so happy
The pride of her mammy and pappy
That the poem mom wrote
Was such a sweet note
All accused mom of being quite sappy.
(And that's why this limerick's so crappy...)

Tired and incoherent,
she pushes the hair out of her face
and rolls out of bed.
Her body creaks and aches like a
disused old machine, rusty and lethargic.
She shuffles down the hall
into the darkened nursery.
Picking up the warm peeping little bundle,
she settles down into the rocking chair,
a mama bear cradling her cub.
She fusses with her clothing
and settles the babe in for feeding.
Love and hormones wash slowly over her,
lapping at her exhaustion,
eroding her tension.
Relaxed, the child's head falls back
mouth open, long eyelashes sleeping
on the pinked ivory cheeks.
She rocks a little longer,
unwilling to burst the bubble.
Soon enough, she lays her little one
back in the crib, and leaves the room.
Crawling back into her own bed,
the cocoon of covers no longer warm,
she sighs and falls back asleep.
She is mother, hear her snore.

A Compendium of 100 Useless Factoids

1. I’m Episcopalian.
2. I pursued mathematics all through school, even earned a bachelor’s degree in mathematics, all because the little boy who sat beside me in sixth grade said that girls couldn’t do math.
3. I don’t really like math.
4. I much prefer literature and creative writing.
5. I was addicted to the Sci-Fi channel series Farscape for the first season, posted on the fan bulletin boards, conversed in the fan chat rooms, and I haven’t seen a single episode since then and there’s been like 3 more seasons.
6. I met my husband through a personal ad on the internet.
7. My husband is a Canadian.
8. He immigrated to the US to marry me.
9. I have night terrors, complete with screaming, talking in my sleep, and occasionally sleepwalking.
10. The first time I hear a new song on the radio, I instantly know if it’s going to become a huge number one hit.
11. I’ve fired about a dozen different kinds of firearms, from a 22 caliber pea shooter to a double barrel shotgun.
12. And I briefly belonged to the NRA.
13. I took piano lessons for 8 years growing up.
14. The only songs I can still play from memory are Fur Elise, The Spinning Song, Chopsticks, and Heart & Soul.
15. When I was in grade school we had a Yorkshire terrier named Winston that died really young from the Parvo Virus- please vaccinate your pets!
16. I was valedictorian of my graduating class in high school.
17. I have my paternal grandfather's nose. (Not in a jar or anything, eww gross, what I mean is my nose looks just like his did.)
18. I hate my hair. I've always hated my hair.
19. I love classic movies, particularly old romantic comedies or musicals.
20. My face is covered in freckles (which I love) and big pores (which I hate).
21. My parents are still married to each other, as are my grandparents.
22. I'm a very UN-graceful swimmer and though I may LOOK like I'm drowning, I'm probably OK. Unless I'm screaming, then, for heaven's sake, throw me a line!
23. This month I learned to make pie crust from scratch and baked my first banana cream pie with homemade filling and real meringue!
24. I’m allergic to cats.
25. My favorite concert ever was the Eagles.
26. I collect fountain pens.
27. I’m pretty good at fancy gift wrapping, Martha Stewart look out!
28. When I was in 1st grade, my best friend and I would play Cassiopea and Athena from Battlestar Galactica and fight over who got Apollo and who got Starbuck.
29. My favorite soft drink is Dr. Pepper.
30. Even at my age, I’m still a little afraid of the dark.
31. Currently, my favorite TV shows are E.R., Lost, and Desperate Housewives.
32. I scored 35 on the ACT in 1990.
33. From Kindergarten through 11th grade, the only sandwich to ever grace my lunch box was peanut butter and grape jelly on white bread.
34. I’m a season ticket holder to the KC Theatre League and Starlight Theater.
35. I used to give my great-grandmother manicures.
36. I used to get in trouble for reading in bed with a flashlight when I was little.
37. My first car was a silver 1979 Firebird.
38. I totally did not appreciate what a cool car I had back then.
39. I think a sense of humor is the sexiest trait a man can have.
40. I have really big boobs. Even before I became overweight, I had really big boobs.
41. My dog is a ten year old lab-collie mutt named Bear. He’s black and furry and weighs about 75 lbs.
42. I need to lose about 75 lbs.
43. I wear glasses and sometimes contacts. Without them I’m practically blind as a bat.
44. I prefer to be shoeless whenever possible.
45. My favorite diamond cut is a princess or square cut.
46. For several years, I hated (HATED) country music, but now it doesn’t bother me as much. It’s still not my top choice, but I actually like a few of the songs.
47. Like “It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long” by the Notorious Cherry Bombs. That video cracks me up.
48. Shhh, don’t tell anyone, but I was actually hooked on the very first season of Nashville Star; I haven’t watched any of the subsequent seasons, though.
49. I haven’t had my hair cut in nearly a year, can you say “split-end city”?
50. Kansas City is my hometown, but I spent the formative preteen and teenage years just outside Raleigh, NC in a town called Cary.
51. When I get REALLY tired, or REALLY tipsy, sometimes the southern drawl will pop back up in my speech.
52. I love Frank Lloyd Wright designs and architecture.
53. I got to play FLW’s piano at Taliesin West in Scottsdale, Arizona.
54. I’ve actually tried the Olympic sport of Curling, but I’m too much of a klutz on the ice to be any good at it.
55. My idea of the perfect vacation is a beautiful beach, warm sand, peaceful waves, a lounge chair, a big umbrella, a stack of romance novels and crime thrillers, and a fruity drink.
56. And sunscreen, as I am possibly the whitest white girl that I know.
57. I bought the entire Time Life “Sounds of the Eighties” CD collection.
58. So did my husband, before we ever met. So now we have two sets!
59. My favorite cake is German Chocolate.
60. I drink skim milk and my husband drinks 1%. Neither of us will compromise so there are always 2 different gallons in our fridge.
61. I’ve never mowed the lawn.
62. I use sarcasm as a defense mechanism.
63. I take medicine daily for a thyroid deficiency.
64. I’m right handed.
65. I exceed the posted speed limit on a regular basis.
66. I prefer white wine over red.
67. I prefer beer over wine.
68. I used to be able to drink a long neck bottle of beer with no hands using only my cleavage (see item 36) when I was younger and more flexible.
69. I used to chew my cuticles.
70. I have three piercings, all in my ears.
71. I hardly ever wear earrings anymore.
72. My mother wouldn’t let me get my ears pierced until I was sixteen. Even then, my aunt took me to get them pierced.
73. I don’t have my gall bladder anymore.
74. I used to work as a dealer on the craps table at private casino parties.
75. I love playing craps, but am too conservative to actually gamble real money.
76. I’m a registered Republican.
77. My favorite cartoon character is Winnie-the-Pooh.
78. I decorated my daughter’s nursery with Classic Pooh.
79. Seeing my daughter smile and hearing her laugh sends my heart right up into the sky.
80. I like my sleep, I miss my sleep. That’s the one thing that I would change about pregnancy and parenthood; I would make it possible for moms to get more sleep.
81. I have a younger brother who is artistic and cool.
82. I can crochet, but only really simple stuff like a neck scarf or a small blanket.
83. I like a soft bristled toothbrush.
84. I do the crossword puzzle in the newspaper nearly every day.
85. I consider myself a good listener. You learn more by listening than by talking.
86. I also think being a good listener makes me a better friend.
87. I’m deeply conflicted about wanting to stay at home with my daughter and wanting to pursue a career outside the home.
88. I get migraine headaches with a preceding visual aura. They’re fun. Lots of fun.
89. I’ve taken dance lessons and know the basic steps for the waltz, rumba, foxtrot, tango, and swing two-step.
90. I collect snowmen and snowflake Christmas decorations.
91. I think I appreciate my mom more than ever, now that I’ve become a mom myself.
92. I worked in a library all through high school and still consider myself a bibliophile.
93. I’m a sorority girl who belonged to an atypically cool smaller sorority.
94. I’m starting to find more and more grey hairs on my noggin (or maybe they’re just easier to spot with all the post-partum hair loss…)
95. I like my eggs scrambled.
96. I think laughter is the most beautiful noise on the planet.
97. I also love the sound of a thunderstorm.
98. I feel like I should be contributing more as a citizen of the planet.
99. I think being a wife, mother, daughter, granddaughter, and a friend are the most important jobs I’ll ever have.
100. I didn’t think I was going to be able to come up with 100 things!

I Want (An Exercise in Indulging the Imagination)

I want to be an impoverished writer, living in a ramshackle little house three blocks from the beach (not on the beachfront, because I can’t afford it). I want to wait tables at some little local dive with the best BLT sandwiches and decent coffee and homemade pastries. I want to know all the regular customers by name. I want to spend my off time sitting on the sand dunes, feeling the ocean breeze and writing in my notebook. I want to write stories about the people I know in this sleepy little coastal town.

I want to live in a high rise loft apartment that has been decorated by someone like Vern Yip from Trading Spaces: all clean lines and soothing colors. I want to be friends with the doorman of my building. I want to have a car service that takes me anywhere I need to go. I want to be independently wealthy so I don’t have to work. I want to spend my time working for charity causes and immersing myself in art and culture. I want a cedar-lined walk-in closet full of tailor-made clothing and expensive shoes and handbags.

I want to be a professor, teaching college algebra and business math at some small state university in small-town America. I want to have a perfectly behaved big lab-collie mix dog that follows me everywhere without a leash and lies at my feet while I grade papers and catches a Frisbee in the quad with my students. I want to live in a little Tudor cottage at the edge of campus that is half-covered in ivy and completely full of old books and real vinyl records. I want to shop at the local vintage clothing store and wear funky outfits with outlandish hats.

I want to be the matriarch of a big family. I want to be able to cook mouth-watering meals from scratch without strictly following a recipe. I want all my children’s friends to try and finagle dinner invitations to our house on a regular basis. I want to be an earth-mother type who always has the needed item in her over-sized purse, be it a tissue, a breath mint, extra pain reliever pills, something to write with, a sewing kit, or a spare bandage. I want to belong to the PTA and bake for school fundraisers. I want to stand up for the First Amendment and Freedom of Speech when the overly conservative parents at the school try to ban books off the reading lists or censor the school literary magazine.

I want to use my voice to earn a living and I’m not talking about $3.99 a minute dirty talk either. I want to read aloud for books on tape and voice-overs on commercials. I want to be the voice of a popular cartoon character and have signed animation cells of my character decorating my walls. I want to be the voice you hear when you dial into a company’s automated menu of “press one for customer service, press two for billing.” I want to drink hot tea with lemon every night to protect my throat and have my vocal cords insured by Lloyds of London in case of laryngitis.

I want to be a best-selling novelist with a legion of faithful readers. I want to be on the NY Times bestseller list every year or two. I want to have too much fan mail to answer personally. I want to have a famous pseudonym so that my private life and my real name are unknown to the fans. I want to lead a normal life, except for all the fabulous things I can buy with all the book royalties: vacations around the world, fancy cars, a gonzo house, and gifts for all my friends and family. I want my books to be optioned for films. I want to go to Hollywood and be a consultant on the screenplay and meet Russell Crowe who is starring in the movie version of my book.

I want to lead an archaeological dig in a jungle or desert somewhere remote and unknown. I want to sweat with the underpaid graduate students and get my hands dirty brushing dust off ancient carvings. I want to have a passport that has stamps from all the countries with ancient civilizations. I want to discover a fabulous relic, like the tomb of a king or the next Rosetta Stone.

I want to be a talent scout for a big record label. I want to travel all over the country to hear unknown bands playing in bars for free beer. I want to immediately recognize the next great talent and sign them to a sweetheart deal. I want to get acknowledged in their Grammy speech a few years later.

I want to be me, only 6 stone lighter. I want to be lean and flexible and cardio-vascularly fit. I want to do Yoga and Tai Chi on alternating days. I want to eat healthy over 90% of the time, but allow myself to indulge on special occasions. I want to participate in charity walk-a-thons and wear a number on my back. I want to pass on healthy lifestyle habits to my daughter so she hopefully won’t suffer through the weight struggles that I fight daily.

I want to be a good wife, a good mom, a good employee, a good friend. I want to read more and watch less television. I want to be thought of as someone who is a good listener. I want to be known for my sense of humor. I want to be a little less self-deprecating and a little more proud of myself. I want to be happy and I want those around me to be happy.

I don’t want much.

The Soundtrack of My Life

With a Little Help From My Friends

***

What would you do if I sang out of tune,

Would you stand up and walk out on me.

Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song,

And I’ll try not to sing out of key.

I get by with a little help from my friends,

I get high with a little help from my friends,

I’m gonna try with a little help from my friends.

What do I do when my love is away.

(Does it worry you to be alone)

How do I feel by the end of the day

(Are you sad because you’re on your own)

No I get by with a little help from my friends,

I get high with a little help from my friends,

Oh, I’m gonna try with a little help from my friends.

Do you need anybody,

I need somebody to love.

Could it be anybody

I want somebody to love.

Would you believe in love at first sight,

Yes I’m certain that it happens all the time.

What do you see hen you turn out the light,

I can’t tell you, but I know it’s mine.

Oh I get by with a little help from my friends.

I get high with a little help from my friends,

Oh I’m gonna try with a little help from my friends.

Do you need anybody,

I just need somebody to love,

Could it be anybody,

I want somebody to love.

Oh I get by with a little help from my friends,

Mm I’m gonna try with a little help from my friends,

Oh I get high with a little help from my friends,

Yes I get by with a little help from my friends.

****

*My friends have helped me survive high school, first love, first heartbreak, moving, college, first drunk evening, subsequent drunk evenings, subsequent heartbreaks, getting married, being married, giving birth, having a daughter, and all the thousands of other glorious and mundane events that make up the fabric of my life.

*And I'm lucky enough to have many dear friends: the one who was my friend in grade school even after she moved out of state, the friend who walked with me to school all through junior high and part of high school, the one who has taken me on multiple impromptu escapes to the beach, the one who put me to bed on my 21st birthday even though I don't remember that part of the evening, the one who I met through our respective beaus and kept as a friend even after we dumped the boys, the one who listens to me complain daily about my life as a wife and mother even though she knows I wouldn't have it any other way, the one who gave birth to me, the one who gave me his last name and helped me create our daughter. There are many others too, but I'll be up all night if I try to acknowledge them all.

*I think our lives are largely defined by the other people in them. It's funny how with true friends, it never matters how long it's been since you've talked, you can pick back up like it was just yesterday. They can make you laugh, make you cry, make you nostalgic for days gone by, or make you eagerly anticipate an upcoming visit.

*Here's a big hug to all those in my wonderful circle of friends, thanks for making my life what it is!

It's What's for Breakfast

Our daughter tried barley cereal for the first time this weekend. She seems to like it, though I still think Oatmeal is her favorite. As I was spooning little bites into her open mouth, I pondered outloud, "do they make barley breakfast cereal for adults?"

My husband quickly responded, "yep, it's called beer."

Mmmmmm, beer. The breakfast of champions... (just kidding!)

A Face That Could Stop a Clock

I've been pondering all week, if I could have a super power what would I want it to be? At first, I thought I would like the ability to go super fast, like Speedy Gonzales or the Flash. This would allow me to power through all the unpleasant but necessary parts of my day, like laundry, cleaning, and commuting. This would leave me more time in the day to do the things I love, like spending time with my family or reading a good book. But the more I thought about it, the more I decided that it wasn't enough. If I was going to wish for a super power, I should expect more.

And I think more would be possible if, instead of having super speed, I had the ability to slow down time itself. Then I could make those precious moments last longer. Time spent engrossed in a good novel could linger, making my escapism all that more realistic. Smiles and laughter from my daughter could be frozen in time, making them lighten my heart for hours not just those quick minutes when we share them.

Having such a power, I'd need to use if for the good of all, and not selfishly. That would be hard. You'd be tempted to do things like pause traffic so that you could navigate home faster at the expense of others. You'd be tempted to make your lunch hour last and last and last at the expense of your boss.

But you'd want to enjoy your power as well, and use it to help others. That woman in the store trying on dresses for a big party, the couple enjoying a second date with none of the first-date awkwardness and all of the tantalizing novelty of new love still fresh, that fellow in the park playing with his dog enjoing the fresh air and the sunshine; they all deserve to savor the moment, hold on to it, make it last. I could help them do that.

But often times, I'm confronted with my nemesis, Father Time himself. As they say, "time waits for no man" and Father Time doesn't like it when the fabric of time is tugged and pulled at. He wants it to march on, as always.

If I really had this super power, I would have had more time this weekend to make this a better blog entry.