LiM: Sweat Equity

After a week of phone tag (which does not burn calories), I finally connected with the personal trainer. And I agreed to have an initial session with her today, Saturday morning at 8:30 am.

In my old life, voluntarily being somewhere other than my bed at 8:30 am on a Saturday morning was absurb. It didn't happen. As a mom, I'm up by approximately 7:00 am every morning, whether I'm ready or not.

So, this morning, I'm there and ready at 8:30 am. I got measured and weighed and then the workout. It wasn't all that strenuous, for someone who isn't way overweight and out of shape. But for me, ugh! We alternated cardio with weight training. The cardio is what kills me. A couple of times I got really out of breath, like knot-in-the-chest, I-think-someone-is-sitting-on-my-breastbone out of breath. I hope I haven't developed asthma. I hope it's just because I'm so out of shape.

Anyway, I survived the hour and signed up for eight sessions. My short term goal is to lose a dress size or two in the next six weeks so I don't have to buy new clothes for our trip to Hawaii. Also, I want to be able to do the volcano hike and snorkeling activities without killing myself.

Now, I'm home and all my muscles feel like jello. It's a good hurt though. I've napped when the wee one napped and taken some ibuprofen. I think I'll live to sweat another day...

Less is More

From now on, I'm going to title any blog posts regarding my battle of the bulge with LiM for Less is More. My hope is that with less physical weight to hide behind, I can become more, more authentic about who I really am inside and out.

OK. So, last week I joined ediets.com. For the low, low price of $2.99 a week, they give me a meal plan, shopping list, and motivational stuff to read. Really, I chose to sign up because the meal plan is flexible and let's me choose frozen meals for lunches and cooked dinners. Also, I need to log in weekly and update my weight which holds me somewhat accountable.

So far, so good. My weigh in day is Tuesday and after one week, I've lost 2.5 pounds. I didn't follow the meal plan to the letter, but I watched my portions, avoided 85% of the crappy junk food that I normally eat and went for two walks with my family.

I've been playing phone tag with a personal trainer who used to be roommates with a super cool gal I know from church. Anyway, I'm thinking a little push and motivation may be what I need to get over the hump and start exercising regularly again. We'll see.

Cheese

Cheese,
originally uploaded by Tacey.

OK, so everyone cool seems to be using www.flickr.com for photo sharing. Call me a lemming, but here goes...

This is my girl, isn't she cute!

Note to Self

When trying on clothes in the morning to see if they fit, remember to test clothing both standing AND sitting. Sometimes clothes fit more or less when standing, but fit less than more when sitting. Sigh. And I was all excited that I could actually wear this particular button up shirt and it buttoned up across my still-nursing chest and cleavage without the oh-so-attractive gap between the buttons.

Now I'm at work, and the shirt is gaping open between the buttons across my yeah-I-just-had-a-baby-and-my-waistline-will-never-be-the-same middle. (OK, so my baby is already 7 months old, just.shut.up.)

I've got to do something about my weight. Something besides moaning about it between binges of Krispy Kremes and Lays Cheddar and Sour Cream potato chips (OMG, these are so totally no-one-can-eat-just-one yummy, in fact, they are watch-me-eat-durn-near-the-whole-bag-in-one-sitting yummy).

I think I have to quit sugar. Cold turkey. Right after I finish my Dr. Pepper. And give away this brownie on my desk. Ugh.

A Product of Good Breeding

I recently stumbled across the following:
Washington Post Style Invitational Contest Week 604
and thought it would be great fun to try my hand at the word play challenge.

The basic gist of the contest was to choose any two names from the list of potential Kentucky Derby contenders and come up with a clever name for their offspring.

I emailed in the following:

Call the Marines X Commodity Trader = Semper Finance

Exit Left X Straight Line = SobrietyCheckpoint

Noble Causeway X In Excelsis = Highway to Heaven

Tetrahedron X High Fly = Quadratic Elation

Biloxi Palace X Going Wild = Mississippi Mayhem

What's Up Dude X Cadillac Cruiser = DudeWhere'sMyCar

Storm Surge X Roman Ruler = Hail Caesar

Sort It Out X War Plan = Divide and Conquer

The contest ended yesterday and the winners will be published in a couple of weeks (on the Sunday before the Kentucky Derby, I believe). While it would be cool to even get an honorable mention, really I just did it as an exercise of my own partially atrophied creative muscle. If I work really hard, maybe, just maybe, I can revive it and become a creative powerhouse!

Grin and Bear It

I really hate the dentist. Not as a person, I'm sure my dentist is a really nice woman. She's got family and friends that all find her delightful, no doubt. And she's undoubtedly a good dentist. I can't say I really have any complaints about her work.

Yet, I stand by my original assertion. I hate the dentist. The poking, prodding, picking, the clucking of her tongue, the admonition to floss regularly, the announcement that I would need at least one filling, it all sucks. It sucks more than the little plastic hose thing-a-ma-bob that they use to suck the spit out of your mouth as they work.

Sigh, and paying the dentist. I hate that too. Scheduling the appointment to come back and get the filling, hate it. Learning that they also think my crown should be replaced, ditto, hate that as well.

Going to the dentist this afternoon has really filled me with negativity. I need something to lift my spirits. Perhaps I should gorge on the giant tub-o-m&m's that lives just outside my cubicle. Not just plain m&m's, but peanut, peanut butter, and almond m&m's as well. Yep, some nice soothing chocolate candy, that will improve my mood!

mmmm, grmmfmbm. I'm sorry, did you say something? I can't hear over the sound of my own chewing? Ironic? Just because I'm combatting depression caused by cavities with pleasing little chocolates that will further rot my teeth... I don't see it. Just shut up! You're interrupting the zen of my chocolate buzz!

Creepy Commercials

There are a couple of commercial campaigns getting airplay right now that just freak-me-right-out-of-my shoes. First and foremost, the Burger King "Wake up with the King" commercials which have that guy in the scary, plastic, over-sized, bobble-headed king costume giving greasy breakfast food to people in their own homes is just terrifying. I mean, it's like a giant royal Pez dispenser grew legs and is lurking outside the window of an unexpecting suburbanite who just happens to be contemplating breakfast options. Freaky, I tell you.

The other commercials that give me the heebie-jeebies are the Quizno's talking baby commercials. Something about the pixelated, moving mouth (as though the baby were really talking with the voice of a 30 something man) just makes my skin crawl.

I guess it's time for me to turn off the TV when I can be this critical of commercials. It's not as if I really have that much time to watch TV nowadays. But I'm a committed viewer for a handful of shows: ER, Lost, and Desperate Housewives. My hubby is a West Wing fan, so I tune in to that one frequently as well. But other than that, I've really let go of most shows I used to depend on for entertainment. RIP my addiction to the following: Trading Spaces, Law and Order (without Benjamin Bratt or Jerry Orbach, it's just not the same), The Apprentice, and CSI. I still catch the odd episode here and there of these shows, but not regularly.

Actually, I had to give up watching most forsenic science, unsolved murder mystery shows, both the fiction and the nonfiction-history-channel varieties. It got to the point where I would dream about coming home to find someone cutting up a body in my bath tub or burying a corpse in my back yard. Not sweet dreams. I guess I'm just too susceptible to that kind of stuff right now. Nothing but comedies before bed for me (on those rare nights the TV is on before bed). Old reruns of Cheers or MASH produce much more pleasant dreams.

Speaking of which, my bed is calling me now. Wonder if I dream about anything in particular when I blog right before bed?

A word or two (or five) about Election Day

Today's blog fodder is brought to you in honor of election day.

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We're all familiar with the following term:

-----campaign n. a race between candidates for elective office

but I propose adding the following word to our lexicon:

-----campain n. an election bid so obviously doomed to failure that it hurts to watch.

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We know well:

-----politics n. the art or science of government or governing

and unfortunately many of us know all to well:

-----politicks n. governing tactics that suck the lifeblood right out of the people.

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Tangentially related to politics:

-----mistake n. an unintentional error

directly related:

-----mistoke n. Clinton did not inhale.

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Many of us may have voted on an:

-----amendment n. an alteration proposed or put into effect by legislative or constitutional procedure

Unfortunately blurring the separation line of Church and State, some folks may have seen this on their ballot, the can-I-get-an:

-----"amen"ment n. an (un)constitutional change pushed for by religious fundamentalists.

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And finally, in the spirit of fair and balanced word play:

-----bipartisan adj. supported by members of two major political parties

Or the funner version:

-----bipartysan adj. used to describe the guy who will crash the victory celebration, no matter which party gets elected

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(Please pardon the dashes and asterisks, but Blogger seems to be eating spaces between lines tonight!)

A primer in sleep deprivation, or how to drive yourself into the ground

A couple of weeks is all it takes, and you too can drive yourself into an early grave. Be prepared to stay up late, get up multiple times in the middle of the night, and be woken up at the crack of dawn. Can you tell me which of these things does not belong: motherhood, bonding, caring, sleeping. Ding, ding, ding: if you answered "sleeping", you've won! Even though all the books warn you that sleep becomes a thing of the past when you become a parent, it's hard to believe until you experience it first hand. Far from sleeping through the night on a regular basis, our daughter really put her mama through the ringer last week.

Getting up earlier than her usual 7:00 am wake up time wasn't the worst of it. Having no interest in nap time, morning or afternoon, wasn't the worst of it. In fact, even fighting bed time at night wasn't the worst of it. Just imagine yourself crawling into bed at 11:30 to catch a little shut eye. Kind of a bedtime fairy tale for moms, thinking that you might actually get a couple hours of sleep before duty calls. Luckily, reality is there to wake you up and remind you better. Mothers don't get to sleep. Not really. Only in their dreams (ha, ha, ha).

Pursuant to some unwritten but eternal code of babies, tonight is the night that we decide to get back up at 12:30. Quick, up again at 1:30. Replay the entire scenario at 2:30. Scene 1, act 1, take 4: let's try one more time at 3:30 (a.m. by the way, these are all a.m. times, which, in case no one ever told you, really stands for annoy mom). Thank goodness four takes was enough, cause mama was just about to go stab herself in the eyeball with something rusty. Ultimately, the wee one finally did sleep from about 4:00 to 7:00. Very difficult to function on just 3 hours of sleep. When you're an adult, that is; apparently babies are very highly functional on just 3 hours of sleep.

Xmas list for mama: comfy pajamas, clean crisp sheets, relaxing lavender lotion, soothing music, and a new pillow. You just wait till you have kids, then you'll know; ONLY then do you REALLY know. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.